Shower Cap of Love

There is security in oddity. During one’s school years it may only win you a couple of token friends who share your love of wearing bowling shoes and tucked in sweaters to school, but later in life it will bring you stability.

How will marching to the beat of your own drum make life easier if it made life such a pain in the ass as a youngster? Well, one day you will have people in your life who love you and know exactly how crazy you are and do you know what that means?  It means that they are also probably crazy as shit and they aren’t going anywhere.  Those insane bastards count themselves lucky for having scored you.

This relationship security is especially obvious if a weirdo is married or in a long-term relationship.  I used to be the only weirdo in my marriage, but my husband has recently learned how to let his crazy flag fly. Example: my husband has recently decided that he likes sleeping in the nude. Completely nude.  Appendages all over the damn place! The only nights he isn’t completely au naturale are the nights where he wears his topical medication for his scalp psoriasis.  On those special nights he wears a really cute, yellow shower cap.  So, that is THE MOST he wears to bed these days…a shower cap. It takes a guy with some exposed, resting balls to come to bed in nothing but a sunshine shower cap and know that his wife doesn’t think he’s too weird or gross.

Don’t worry folks, I totally asked my husband’s permission before I outed Mr. Mike’s birthday suit jammies. He’s totally cool with it.  I mean, what would he be worried about?  He has a wife and friends who know he’s a God damn fruit cake…he doesn’t give a shit about anything else.  That’s exactly why I say that there is security in oddity.

You would have to grill Mike about my crazy habits.  It’s too easy to take them for granted until someone points them out.

I do know that I can be crazy judgmental about really nerdy things, especially on social media.  When people I went to high school with post status updates on Facebook with terrible grammar and atrocious punctuation, I just can’t handle it.  I have even unfriended people for such crimes. What I don’t understand is how those people came to have such a loose handle on the English language. I went to school with those people.  We were taught the same shit!

I also nerd out over historical inaccuracies on TV or in movies.  Yeah, I’m a damn riot at parties!  Recently Mike and I have been watching Salem on WGN…yeah, I know, how much historic and grammatical accuracy can I expect from WGN?  Salem is a period series set during the witch trials of the 17th century and while I didn’t expect it to be an educational history lesson, I did expect that they would know when to use the word “hanged” instead of “hung” and that muskets couldn’t shoot more than one shot without being repacked and reloaded.  I mean, really.  It does seem that most of the shows on WGN are written by teenagers so this shit should be fresh in their minds from basic high school book learnin’.

See, I am the type of weirdo who gets all up in arms over a crappy TV show and tries to prove that I am smarter than writers for basic cable.  Yeah, a girl like me needs a special kind of partner.  Maybe a guy who sleeps in nothing but a shower cap.

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