Hooters and Octopi

Tomorrow is a big day in our household.  I am re-joining Weight Watchers and trying to feel and look better.  I think currently I might be bigger than I have ever been.  I haven’t weighed myself in a bit, but tomorrow the number won’t lie.

I don’t mind eating healthy food, but I do mind NOT unhealthy food.  I am something of a control freak and the idea of having something be “off limits” pisses me off.  I just don’t like being told “no” and since I am having to tell myself, that makes it ultra vexing.  If my blogs sound distressed and angsty for awhile, I am sure you will understand why.  Don’t be surprised if I write a long post about how much it bothers me when celebrities do serious and dramatic commercials for things like cars and perfume.  I mean, really…are those not the worst ads ever?  Matthew McConaughey will never convince me to buy a Lincoln because I still see him as the guy from Dazed and Confused who creeped on high school girls and who is probably high as fuck all of the time.

See?  The anger is already building up.  After tonight’s “Goodbye Cheese” meal of tacos, don’t be surprised if you see a very surly looking mom in yoga pants grocery shopping with as much anger as possibly for such an activity.  I will probably have a carrot stick hanging out of my mouth where there once was a very cool Parliament cigarette.  I would not look cool now, but don’t tell me that or I will clean your eyeballs with the kale I am buying.  It’s a superfood.

I actually haven’t smoked in a number of years, probably about 7-8 years.  But back in the day, I was probably what would be a hipster for today’s youth.  P-funk smoking, irony loving and liking music before it was cool young lady who just knew everything about everything.  But these days irony is just something Alanis Morissette doesn’t understand, a cigarette will surely bring on my early death and as far as music goes, I don’t get out enough to even know what cool is.  Give me coffee and tacos and I won’t give a damn hoot about whether or not I am with the times.

Speaking of “hoots”, why do hipsters LOVE owls so dang much?  Owls and Octopuses…Octopi?  But seriously, what the fuck?  What is so ironically cool about these two animals?  They’re just grasping at straws at this point.  They want to think they liked those animals before they were cool.  These are the same people who collected Lisa Frank stickers of puppies and dolphins…before THEY were cool.

Remember when this post was about me starting a weight loss/healthy journey?  Let’s get back to that topic.

I get super competitive with myself when doing WW.  I make recipes and then see what I can take out and substitute in order to make it’s points value as low as possible.  By the time I am done my pot of savory stew is just hot water and I am VERY proud of myself.  I am also fucking hungry and my mouth is burned from eating boiling water.

Well, eff.

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