World Peace

My job is perfect for my personal sense of style.  The actual truth about my sense of style is that I don’t have one, at all.  I tend to wear the unofficial uniform of the stay-at-home parent, comfortable pants and items that can and will get dirty.  Basically, those are the only two rules about being a SAHP: 1. No real pants worn inside the house.  Whether or not you wear real pants outside of the house is up to you, but rest assured that no other parent in your specific line of work will be judging you. 2. Your clothes will be dirty.  Basically from the time you put them on they will be covered in food and other things that are better left unlisted.

One of the jobs I had in college was as a CNA (Certified nursing assistant) in a nursing home.  That job had a perfect uniform for my style as well.  Scrubs.  The real likelihood of being covered in bodily fluids is high, you don’t want to be wearing your street clothes with that (actual) shit.

When the time comes where I actually have to wear real clothes I flounder and worry every aspect of my outfit.  My outfits get some comments which range from “You look…cute.” which is always said with more than a hint of disbelief and surprise, to “What. The. Actual. Fuck? Is that a table runner?”

One of the last times I was able to go out to a cool bar I actually wore a real designer shirt!  It was a sparkly Michael Kors top with a cowl neck and is actually pretty comfortable and hid some of my trouble areas.  Right now you’re thinking…”well, her style can’t be that bad”.  To that I say…read on!  I will ruin your good image of me in seconds.  The top was second hand.  I paid like $10 for it.  Okay, that isn’t that bad.  A lot of people know how to look good on a budget.  Here, let me try a little harder to ruin this for you. I paired my designer, second hand, sparkly top with pajama jeans.  Oh yeah!  That really happened. Haha…fuck you and your temporarily improved image of me.  I will destroy everything you love.

I guess, deep down, I don’t feel that clothes will change who I am or how I feel.  That being said, I also know that I am feeling that way because I don’t feel good about my body.  I will never be someone who cares about specific brands or the cost of items, but when I was much thinner I know I put more thought into my dress than I do now.

The truth is that maybe I don’t feel like this body can look decent or deserves nice clothes.  There is a “why bother” attitude of self defeat.  When your mind is uncomfortable with your appearance, all you want are comfortable clothes.

What’s the solution?  Diet and exercise, of course.  It’s the same prescription for most of us and it’s apparently the key to world fucking peace.  Losing weight and keeping it off is about as difficult as attaining world peace.  No one wants to.

Who in their right mind would give up cheese?  A crazy person, that’s who!  And we all know crazy people can’t be trusted, thus people who eat well and exercise are the real villains here.  My cheese and pajama jeans are keeping the peace. I’m on a crusade to look “meh” at best and find the best cheese combination for a burrito, all while helping world peace.  You’re fucking welcome.  What would you bitches do without me?  Your burritos wouldn’t be as delicious, that’s for damn sure!

So, what’s the best balance between your time, your love of cheese, your sanity and your want to look better?  The truth is that it all takes work.

Well, eff.

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One Response to World Peace

  1. Brad says:

    Agreed on all counts, from a fellow SAHP. I once almost walked out the door for a “night out” wearing jeans with a bigass hole in the knee. It’s so bigass, the bottom pant leg is barely hanging on. I saw no problem with this, apparently.

    Like

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