Common Speech

I think there is a very good reason why the “Mother of the Year” award isn’t a real thing.  I suppose I am assuming it’s not a real thing because I have never been nominated.  Right?

I am friends with quite a few moms out there who parent nothing like I do and they are all good moms, just like I am.  Now, those mom’s probably don’t swear in front of their kids as much as I do OR teach them that a dirty martini isn’t for them by letting them try it.

Yeah, that last one really happened, with more than one alcoholic beverage over the course of his three years of life.  I am a “life experience” mom.  Sheltering our children will only lead to more kids wearing helmets all of the damn time and never knowing true pride in their abilities.

When Joey said he wanted a drink of “mommy juice” I let him knowing full well that a tiny sip would not hurt him, but rather teach him that he doesn’t like it.  Me telling him would have never done that.  So, my little angel took a little sip and his face immediately scrunched up and he mumbled a hoarse “Yummy.”  That was the point where I told him to back the fuck off because Grey Goose martinis with blue cheese stuffed olives was an expensive drink and I didn’t want to waste it on an amature and just because it was in a sippy cup didn’t mean that it was his! Now he correctly identifies “mommy juice” as something he doesn’t want.

As far as swearing, I think words are words and can be used however you mean them to be taken.  To me, if I say “Why are your pants IN the toilet?” it is the exact same meaning as “Holy shit!  Why are your pants in the fucking toilet?”  The statement isn’t said with more anger, just more funny words.  There is a time and a place for many words.  I choose to not censor my kids.  Swearing can be funny as long as they learn that it’s something we do at home for fun.

I know that the idea of letting my kids swear is pretty foreign to most parents in the civilized world, but I find more fault with letting kids use words like “hate”, “stupid” or “retarded”.  Those are hurtful words.  When those terms are used in our home I tell anyone who says them that they can find a nicer and more intelligent way to express themselves. I really do ask everyone to follow that rule, even myself.  When I say something like “Ugh, I hate green peppers” my husband will gently remind me that there is a nicer and less common way to express myself.  That is when I correct the statement to “I do not prefer green peppers, but I wish I did.”

My goal is to have more eloquent kids who realize that what they say affects others.  In To Kill a Mockingbird, Atticus asks Scout not to use the N word because it’s “common” meaning that it’s boorish and vulgar.  I am aware that swearing can also be considered common, I just don’t fucking care.

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1 Response to Common Speech

  1. Denise says:

    Yes yes yes! I could not agree more with this!
    My favorite Joey F story is one day one of my friends said something like “stupid fuck….” And my son gasped and looked at me and said “mom, he said stupid”!


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